Wedding Toast Tips

Once you've found your rhythm, follow some of these tips to ensure you nail the delivery of your wedding toast.

  • Speak to both halves of the couple. Even if you know one much better than the other, it's important to remember that you are celebrating their relationships together, not your relationship with one of them. If you only talk about one entity, you'll be alienating at least half of the guests in attendance who may only know their counterpart.


  • Keep personal stories in good taste. Keep in mind who your audience is. It is usually comprised of multiple generations of family, friends, and work colleagues. Don't tell any stories that may come across as inappropriate or mention exes. Your friend's boss doesn't need to know details about how the bachelor party went down or how bad a previous flame was. Keep your tone light and positive, always bringing it back to the newlyweds and the present moment.


  • Be mindful of inside jokes. "There’s nothing wrong with an inside joke, but only if you make sure the audience finds themselves on the inside through your telling of it," Colin explains. "Otherwise, inside jokes for the sake of inside jokes tell an audience it’s okay to tune out because you aren’t talking to them. Once you go down that road, it’s tough to get their attention back." He adds that if you're going to be using humor in the toast, be sure to balance it with emotional undercurrents to provide depth.


  • Be yourself. "A fancy, polished, well-rehearsed version of yourself," Colin says. "If you’re not a comedian, don’t be a comedian. But know that a light touch of humor will go a long way because it’s unexpected, and that can be a lot of fun." The same goes for sentimentality; it's all about striking the right harmony. And remember, your friends know who you are, and they'll be able to tell if you're just putting on a show for the crowd. Stay true to yourself and be genuine.


  • Time it. Toasts are usually around five minutes long—enough time to share a few sweet memories or sentiments, but not so long that guests lose interest.


  • Deliver. A great speech isn't just a witty compilation of words; it's also about delivery. Make sure you're standing tall—never, ever remain seated—and exuding confidence, in a location where everyone can see you (otherwise they will tune you out). "It’s perfectly appropriate to use flashcards or even read from a piece of paper if you’re nervous," Colin says. "Just not a phone, and my god, not an iPad. A glowing face is bad for photos, and what happens if the power drains? Or you get a call?"


  • Embrace the jitters. Nerves are not the enemy. They're an energizing jolt of energy that you can harness. "Jack wasn’t nimble or quick because of the candlestick; it was because of the fire," Colin says. "Being on your toes is a legal performance enhancer. Try to embrace the idea that the butterflies in your stomach might just use their wings to help you fly over the flame before you."


  • Don't forget to smile! Make sure your face reflects the love in your heart with a great, big grin. "Smiling triggers a release of feel-good neurotransmitters that help temper any excess nervousness you might be feeling—even when the smile is fake," Colin says. If you feel your nerves getting the better of you, look at the subject of your toast (aka the newlyweds) while you recite your speech and forget about the crowd.


  • Keep drinks to a minimum. A glass of bubbly before giving a toast can do wonders to loosen you up a bit. But try to stick to one glass, and remember this throughout the day (hello, pre-ceremony shots and getting-ready drinks). Too much alcohol can turn your carefully crafted sentiments into a big, slurred mess.


  • Be sentimental. Make your speech more memorable by sharing a sentimental story that you have of the happy couple. Perhaps it's the story of how they met or maybe it's a special memory that exhibits the depth of their love. It's sweet moments like these that will set the tone for your speech—not only will the newlyweds appreciate the sentiment, but it'll tug at everyone's heartstrings and won't be forgotten.

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